Momentous Events

Alright Blogger-hounds...I'm posting!

This will probably seem a strange thing to start blogging with, but it picks up off a post from Leah. It involves a trip to the Girly Doctor. I have discovered that the best time of day for us motherless, always-wanted-to-be-a-mother-but-it-never-happened women to go in for this appointment is late afternoon. A blessedly empty waiting room awaits you!

It happened. She clarified the aging process by saying, "It's time for you to get a mammogram." Shit....I was hoping Leah's doctor was just crazy and jumping the gun a bit. A mammogram. Great. It's time for me to get my breast squished down to pancake size to search out possible invaders. Men don't have to have their testicles squished in a machine. Sure, they may think being manhandled by a doctor is horrible, but no...we have to endure so much more in our lifetime, but I digress. To top it off, insurance doesn't cover a whole lot of the cost because it's just to get a baseline. They don't think baselines are that important. Men run insurance companies, don't you know?

But wait! Oh...now there's a reason for the mammogram--she finds something. No, no, not THAT, just a cysty material. But reason enough for insurance to cover most of the cost of the mammogram because there's something there. The one breast also gets to have an ultrasound. Now I get to have cold gooey stuff rubbed all over it as well.

When I was 12-years-old, I started my period. The day this happened was a momentous event. I was filled with joy (little did I know). I was so filled with joy, that I called my dad--two states away and at work--and told him, "Dad! Guess what? I'm a Woman now!" He was so tickled that I would call and tell him this, that he told everyone at work. Little did I know what that one day would give way to, especially at the age of 12: hormonal fluctuations that caused horrible skin eruptions (because 2-3 zits are horrible at that age), split second emotional ups and downs that had the whole household walking on egg-shells, cramps from hell, "leaks" caught by someone in the hall at school that no one bothers to tell you about until the start of the next class, sudden longing for boys I had never noticed before and I would die if they didn't notice me, trial and error with pads and tampons...yeah, joyful day.

But, it is a momentous change. Good or bad. Here comes the beginning of the next one. I guess after my appointment, I'll call my dad--now four states away--and tell him, "Dad, guess what? I had my first mammogram today. I'm a middle-aged woman now,". This is just a small momentous event. That big one is lurking just around the corner. As always, there will be the good and the bad with that one.