Sunday, February 10, 2008

New friends

Have you ever wondered if the friends that you have were supposed to be in your life for one reason or another and at a certain time? Really...think about it. Sometimes you can be in the same place for years and never meet, but then one day in a totally different place, you meet and become friends.

For instance--my friend and co-worker Stacy: we both went to the Art Institute of Dallas at the same time, different majors. We never met. Years later, dreams of photography and music production tossed aside, we meet while working at a veterinary hospital. My friend Cherri and I both lived in the Dallas area at the same time. Never met. Years later, we meet working at said vet hospital. Are there certain times that you're supposed to come into someone's life or they into yours? Years ago in Dallas, I could have met the man that I have recently been wildly in love with, but I met him here, years and two kids (for him) later and a relationship that he can't see himself getting out of because of those two kids (despite the fact that they've left each other twice, but gone back). Why didn't we meet in Dallas before his miserable relationship and two kids? Is it because I had to meet someone else first, lose him when he died, and go through that horrible grieving process. For what?

I've recently met someone that I did some pet-sitting for. In our preliminary meeting, she mentioned that her boyfriend had passed away not quite a year ago. I recognized the look in her eye and knew exactly where she was in that grieving process. Man, it sucks! I didn't say anything at the time. She went out of town and I checked in on her cats. I looked at all the pictures of "J" she has all over the place. He was incredibly similar to my Marshawn--tall, broad athletic chest, dark complexion and hair, and the same spirit shining from within. It made it seem like almost yesterday. She's a petite girl and I could see her big bed in her room and know how absolutely empty it feels right now and know that all those pillows that are on the bed do nothing to allay that feeling.

When she came back, I took her key back to her. Usually, if I'm not keeping the key for frequent jobs, I have people come and pick them up. I wanted to tell her, though, that if she ever wants to talk to someone that had been where she's at and understands where she's coming from, that she can give me a call; that I understand because I had been exactly where she is eleven years ago. Sure enough, the first question out of her mouth was, "Have you been able to love anyone else since then?" Hope springs eternal even in our darkest hour. I was able to tell her yes, and even though it seems it's not going to work out for me, I have the strength to go on and try again. We ended up talking for four hours. It won't be the last time either.

Ironically, her relationship with "J" started out much the same way that my relationship with "G" started.

So, the question is this: why do we have to go through such convoluted circles to meet each other at precise moments in our time? Are things pre-ordained, or is it all just chance? Do things always happen for a reason, or do they just happen? (I guess that would be "questions") Do you come into someone's life precisely when they need you to?

I'll let you ponder your deep thoughts now.

4 comments:

Anne B said...

Predestination? I don't know...are you a Calvinist? :)

Alissa said...

I think there are lots of miracles that occur every day that allow for people to meet, etc. So many things have to align to make things possible. Deep thoughts.

Joey said...

John & I attended the same high school together at the same time and never met. I met his brother, actually went to his house (dropping his brother off from school) a few times, but never met. We did meet in passing at the mall one time -- no interest.

Then when I was in college he came to visit my roommate, a very good high school friend of his. Seriously, the moment our eyes met, I knew this was it. This was the man I was going to marry. And I was dating someone serious at the time.

Why had we never met when we lived 2 miles from each other for so many years? I had even been to his house! Here he was in the Navy, coming thousands of miles from overseas to visit Texas A&M, and we finally meet. Do I believe in timing and "meant-to-be"? Yep.

Leah said...

great post....pondering....